The Girl Who Danced Like Peacock

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Her huge kohl rimmed eyes seemed to be looking at the horizon. The pain and desperation in them were so vivid that it could make anyone drown in sorrow. Her ‘mehendi’ tinted palms were joined together in prayer and the jewels she had worn shone bright. Her body language was enchanting. It showed all the perfect ‘mudras’ of a woman longing to meet her beloved. The peacock-coloured silk outfit with a thick golden border enhanced her look. Her overall aura was magnificent. She was ‘Radha’ pleading for just one ‘darshan’ from her ‘Krishna’. 

She was ecstatic when he did show up. The pain in the eyes was transformed to pure delight. She danced with joy to showcase her happiness. He blessed her but said something which transformed her again. He told her why she longed for him when he was present with her at all times. He made her realize that she was so powerful herself that she could change the world with her fingertips if she wanted to. Her face changed with the realization of truth from her Lord. She took the form of Shakti, Lakshmi and Saraswati entwined together with each other and struck a beautiful pose in the middle of the stage.

All the judges and the audience stood up in awe of her performance and the auditorium boomed with the clapping which didn’t seem to cease…so did her tears.

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Mr. Ghanshyam Gupta was a renowned doctor in the area. He had his own clinic and had been practicing for decades. He was a quiet and an authoritative man but had the heart of gold. He was old now but still practiced at times, mostly for free for the poor. He had a huge respect in society. He, his wife and their three children, two sons and a daughter lived together. They were a typical example of a joint family which is hard to find these days. His oldest son Soham, was also a doctor, the younger one Saahil was an engineer and the daughter Preeti was still in college. Both his sons were married. The older daughter in law, Disha was a homemaker but in her free time, she liked to work for various NGOs across the city for the cause of uplifting women and children. The younger one, Juhi used to work earlier for an MNC but now was on a break from her work since her children were small. They both had two children each.

The whole family was excited today. They were doing something which nobody does these days anymore. All of them were sitting in front of the television and all were gearing to watch a ‘single’ program. The reason being Preeti, the daughter of the house who was everybody’s darling. She had participated in a dance program which was held in the city and it was being aired on television. The children were jumping on the sofa waiting to see their favourite ‘bua’ on TV. Saahil, a wannabe cook took the responsibility of making his special popcorns and pakoras. Wonderful aromas were emanating from the kitchen. Excitement was in the air.

“Disha, please can you make your special ginger tea for all of us. Nobody makes it like you do”, Soham requested his wife.

“Sure”, Disha agreed with a smile.

“Can’t trust Saahil on everything, can we? There is a good chance we might starve today”, Saahil said winking at Disha.

Saahil threw a piece of popcorn from the kitchen which got stuck in Soham’s hair.

“You get only this to snack on today Bhaiya”

All laughed listening to him.

“He is not that bad also Bhaiya… if not an engineer he would definitely have been a chef for sure”, Saahil’s wife Juhi tried to defend him.

“Bhabhi you also cook well, paint, have an exceptional academic record. You both husband and wife are a multi-talented couple, isn’t it?” Preeti said smiling.

“Yeah, and after having all that ‘track record’, I am currently sitting at home”, Juhi laughed.

“No Bhabhi, handling these two brats all on your own is no easy feat. You are excelling at that also”, Preeti said, stroking the hair of one of Juhi’s twin boys.

The whole family nodded in agreement.

“It’s time already… all of you be silent”

Mr. Gupta who was sitting on the long sofa with his wife, interjected the leg pulling of brothers.

Saahil placed the food items on the centre table. Each of them took a seat and concentrated on the television.

The program started. A certain lady’s performance was the first one. All applauded her when it got over. It was followed by another, then another. All sat watching munching on popcorns and sipping tea.

“When will your turn come, Preeti?”, Saahil said with impatience.

“Your wait is over. Just the next one Bhaiya”, Preeti confirmed.

All concentrated. The performance started. 

All watched in silence as it proceeded. The look of surprise on everybody’s face could not be missed. They all gaped at the performance going on the television.

When it got over, all looked in her direction. 

She sat in nervousness twisting the ring in her finger.

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It all started with a trip to the vegetable shop. It was a weekly activity for her. She was picky about the quality of vegetables so she always went shopping herself on the weekends. She placed her empty jute bag on the counter and wiped the beads of sweat that appeared on her forehead with her ‘dupatta’. 

“Hot day huh?”, asked Bhola, the vegetable seller. She had come to know him well due to her frequent visits.

“Yes, it is,”

She replied with a charming smile. Her hair was neatly tied in a bun with a small jasmine flower picked freshly from her garden stuck to it. Her forehead was adorned with a round ‘bindi’ and ‘kumkum’ was visible through the parting of her hair. She wore a simple cotton salwar kameez and smelled of talcum powder.

She began selecting the vegetables with keen eyes. The medium sized, perfectly shaped ones without an eye or a rot, all found their way to the weighing machine after proper discussion about rates. 

Just then it happened. A piece of paper came flying from nowhere and found its way on the bunch of green chillies which she was selecting and keeping inside the cane basket waiting to be weighed. Initially she was annoyed. She reluctantly picked it up and was about to throw it away, when her eyes caught something printed on it. As she started reading it, Bhola snatched the piece of paper from her hands.

“Sorry about that. These people are always pasting flyers inside my shop even after repeated warnings by me. Now see, its flying all over the place due to their sloppy work”

She looked around the shop for the rest of the flyers pasted on the brick wall and spotted one and read it.

“You are so right Bhola. But this paper will be an excellent cover for my chillies as they have banned polythene bags these days. Can you please wrap them in it and give me? At home, it gets tedious for me to separate my chillies from the rest of the vegetables in the bag”

Bhola looked at her as if he was hearing the most ingenious idea from someone after a long time. He had a habit of getting impressed by his customer’s ideas. It helped his business grow.

“Sure madam!”, he said wrapping up the green chillies in that paper and putting them in her bag. She thanked him and returned home with the bag full of vegetables.

She noticed more flyers pasted on walls all over the small town of Lalganj. People in groups stood reading and discussing it. It was definitely a big topic of discussion in their small town and the fact that it would be aired in the local channel was the major attraction. But she didn’t look much in that direction in case anybody spotted her reading it. As soon as she reached home, she placed her bag in the kitchen, emptied the green chillies from the flyer and sneaked into her room with it.

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Dance Competition

Women’s day special!

We welcome one and all ladies!

Come & dance your hearts out!

Place: Lalganj garden

Time: 10 am onwards

Date: 8th March

Winner gets a free trip to Goa!

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She read it multiple times. Every time she read, it stirred something within her. A long-forgotten desire started slowly flickering to life. As she thought more about it, it threatened to burn her. She felt restless. She had almost crushed the flyer in her fist and was ready to throw it away in the dustbin, but something stopped her from doing that. Not knowing what to do, she folded the flyer and snuck it beneath her clothes in the wardrobe where no one could find it.

That day she cooked up a storm in the kitchen. She didn’t allow anyone inside and did everything herself starting from chopping vegetables, making masalas and cooking curries, daal and rice. People in her home were very happy. They loved her cooking.

Next, she dismissed her servants for the day and started cleaning the house. She cleaned every neglected nook and corner of the house. She knew from prior experience that if one concentrates on other things for a while then the desires which create trouble slowly start fading out and finally disappear. 

Nothing seemed to work this time. The burning inside her chest seemed to grow every minute. She couldn’t sleep, eat or concentrate on any work. Usually, at such times she consulted her husband. A heartfelt discussion with him solved most of the problems. But this time it was different. She was hesitant to tell anyone about it. She knew she was part of a traditional family. They might not approve.

She thought a lot about it for days. Then she gave in. After thinking hard, she came to the conclusion that there was a reason that the flyer landed straight to her lap. She decided to give it a try. If nothing, it would comfort her uneasiness. Till now in her whole life, she had done things to satisfy the people around her and fulfil their expectations. This time, she thought of doing something for herself, on her own. She wanted to cross all barriers and boundaries. The idea which seemed initially scary to her suddenly seemed liberating and took the dimension of being her sole purpose in life.

So, it began. Dancing used to be her passion once upon a time. But things changed after marriage. She had so many responsibilities to fulfil that she didn’t even realize when her passion became a long-forgotten story even for herself.

She took out the old suitcase from her attic where she kept things, she didn’t need any more but didn’t have the heart to throw away. Among those things was a faded velvet pouch which had no velvet feel about it anymore. But that could not be said about the thing kept inside it. She was surprised to see that it was very much alive. Or it can be said that just the feel of it had the capacity to make her feel alive after ages. She was a living person of course but by simply looking at it ignited a spark within her that had long died. As she picked it up, the anklets jingled in her hands. It was the heavy one which she used for her dance performances. The shine had dulled. She stroked the tiny bells attached to the anklet lovingly with her hands and then brought it close to her ears. The same jingling sound made her smile like never before.

She practiced when nobody was watching, mostly the afternoons. The men were in office, children were in school or napping and the rest just taking their afternoon siesta or watching TV.  She didn’t wear her anklets since it might make a sound. She kept it in front of her while dancing to get a moral boost. She used headphones to listen to the song she had chosen for her dance. Days of practicing went by. Initially, she had a little body pain but she overcame it. But she was glad to find that she hadn’t forgotten much of her dancing. The pain was nothing compared to the joy and fulfilment it aroused. Things came back as if it was just yesterday that she had last danced. Her mind and muscles danced to her tunes. It was clear that dancing ran in her veins. Soon, she was in her full form and ready to show her skills to the world…again. 

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The mood in the Gupta household was intense.

“Why didn’t you tell us Ma?” Soham asked, surprised.

“When did all this happen Ma? We never had any clue”, Saahil switched off the television and asked too.

Rest of the family members except Preeti, looked at her with astonishment.

Mrs. Nupur Gupta, the wife of Dr.Ghanshyam Gupta sat on the corner sofa and didn’t look at anybody because she knew all eyes were on her. Tears trickled down her cheeks. She wiped them with the edge of her saree and spoke with a trembling voice.

There was pin drop silence and all listened.

“When I was born, my grandma saw my dainty little feet and said”

Look at her feet…this girl will be an amazing dancer one day

I will name her ‘Nupur’…. meaning anklet…

“Then she bought a pair of tiny silver anklets and tied it around both my feet”

“Yes… I think that is the moment when it all started Saahil…”, she looked up at her younger son and spoke.

“Just that very moment, I discovered my first love…Dance”, she smiled a little.

“When I was young, I would dance to any song that would play on the radio. My hands and feet would move with proper coordination with the beats. My father watched me and enrolled me in a dancing school. He used to say that the passion I had for dancing was divine.”

“Under the guidance of my Guruji, I became an exceptional Bharatanatyam dancer. I gave many stage performances and won numerous competitions. The wall in the drawing room of our house used to be full of certificates and medals of my achievements. Everyone used to call me ‘The girl who danced like a peacock’!” she remembered fondly and chuckled.

“My dancing saga continued and then one day…I got married…”, she sighed.

“All checked if the groom was good, the house I was being married to was prosperous, checked if my in-laws were decent people but nobody asked if I could continue my passion after my marriage. A girl dancing and giving stage performances after marriage was unthinkable in our times. So, one fine day it all went ‘poof’!”, she gestured her hands up in the air and gave a sad laugh again.

“My dancing saga remained hanging in the walls of my home”

“I tried to forget all about it …and I was successful… I drowned myself in my responsibilities…I revelled in the happiness of my family, my husband, my three beautiful children…and then in their lovely families, in my daughter in laws and grandchildren…things were really going great…I was enjoying immensely… until that day at the vegetable shop…”

“That day I realized there was a major thing missing in my life… the passion that I had kept on the back burner for so many years surfaced again… after so many decades my love for dance came back with full force…”

“After so much dilemma, I decided to give it a shot… my daughter Preeti helped me. I didn’t want to involve her also but one day she caught me practicing… and she decided to help me in all possible ways… then she planned and created this false rumour of her participating in the dance program to break my secret to you all…”

“I am lucky that she understood me…”

“But I don’t know how all of you will react… you might be humiliated by me for dancing at this age… I might have put you to shame in the society…”

Few more tears trickled down her wrinkled cheeks.

“But I’m sorry to say… I don’t regret it…”, she raised her chin and spoke.

“I’m not shameful of myself even for a minute”

“I feel free… I feel liberated”

“Rest is up to all of you…”

Mrs. Gupta went quiet. There was silence for a few more minutes.

Disha and Juhi looked at each other, nodded in some unspoken agreement and both went and hugged their mother-in-law together and said unanimously,

“We are so proud of you Mummyji…you have done what many of us won’t have the guts to even think about although we are way younger than you… your dance was just phenomenal… we salute you!”

Mrs. Gupta held both of them tight and cried.

“What do you think we are?” Saahil interrupted.

“You should know that you have raised your sons the right way… we just loved your dance Ma!”, Saahil joined them.

“Ma… you should know that even if you had told us, we would have supported you from the core of our heart… We regret that we never realized how you missed your passion… we are so sorry…”, Soham apologized.

“Yay…you know what… Ma won the competition!” Preeti gave that information since the television had been switched off.

Suddenly there was a mood of celebration all around. The children hugged Mrs. Gupta

Amidst all this, Mr. Gupta got up from his seat and left the room without a word. 

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She found him on the terrace. He was standing near the railing. She went and stood next to him. After a moment of silence she said,

“I am sorry… will you be able to forgive me?”, she looked at him teary eyed.

“I am ashamed of myself”, Mr. Gupta said.

More tears rolled out of Mrs. Gupta’s eyes.

“I used to think that I knew everything about you. All my life I had tried to keep you happy and thought that I was successful at that. But today I am ashamed that I didn’t have the least idea about your passion and how much it meant to you”

“I am ashamed of myself that you had to hide the fact from me that you love to dance and were participating in a dance competition”

“Where did I go wrong Nupur?” he questioned her by looking into her eyes.

“I am so sorry”, Mrs. Gupta said joining both her hands.

He paused and spoke again.

“I would like to rectify myself, Nupur. Maybe I should have tried more to understand you”

He held both the hands of Mrs. Gupta and said,

“Will you take me to Goa with you? I would like to understand in a better way the girl who danced like a peacock”

She smiled in between her tears and he embraced her.

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