Who loves you more? Mom or Dad?

Who loves you more? Mom or Dad? This question was asked to me multiple times when I was a kid. I absolutely hated it then and even now. First of all I don’t know why people ask this question. What do they want to prove? And why to fill all these useless parameters in the child’s mind and confuse him/her?

I used to go blank in the process of finding the answer. I would stare with a half-open mouth or blink multiple times and fumble with my fingers. I would want to run away back to my games but it looked like the person in front of me won’t leave without an answer. I would count the number of time my mom scolded me and compare it with the number of times my dad didn’t buy me something I wanted. A full character assessment movie of my parents would go on in my mind in the background.

When I would finally come somewhat close to an answer, my eyes would fall on my parents trying to pretend that they are not listening but failing to hide their enthusiasm and anxiety to know my answer. I would get even more confused and blurt out the safest answer. ‘Both!’ And run away.

I hate this question more after growing up and being a parent myself. Now, I could literally feel the increased palpitation of my parent’s heart in anticipation of my answer. Their whole life’s purpose and sacrifices would have been at stake at that one answer. It would prove who is great and who is worthless in the eyes of their own child. I believe both mom and dad have a specific role to play in a child’s life which can be very distinct from each another. Both can’t be compared. People have different ways of showing their love so its unfair to judge them. Even if someone is critical and judgmental about a person’s duty as a parent, why put such complexities in the delicate mind of a child? A child is mentally healthy when he/she believes that both their parents love and care for them unconditionally and equally.

What fun people get by asking this question is still unclear to me.

Photo by atiyeh fathi on Unsplash