The Window

Kusum stormed into the room and slammed the door with a bang.

” Enough is enough”, she said gritting her teeth.

But she could still hear everything.

“Look at this girl. So much arrogance… What does she think of herself?”

” What if she does a job and earns money? Finally, a girl’s fate depends on her marriage… I’m telling you Usha, nobody will marry her!”

Kusum’s grandma kept cursing her sitting on the divan in the drawing room with her betel stained teeth.

” Please don’t utter such inauspicious words Ammaji”, Usha warned her mother-in-law in a firm tone.

” It’s your fault… You never scold your daughter for anything”, Ammaji said wagging her index finger at Usha.

“Why should I scold? She didn’t do anything wrong. She just requested you to lower the volume of television since she has a meeting”

“Huh… Meeting is just an excuse… These are her ways to insult me… Mohan you never say anything ever”,

Ammaji tried to rope in her son in the argument. He didn’t even reply and kept on ironing his shirt. He was the silent neutral member of the family.

” You have hated her from the day she was born… Always preferred your grandson Kishan… He is the apple of your eye…and she is the thorn”, Usha alleged.

” And why won’t I?”

Kishan was Kusum’s younger brother who was studying abroad.

The bickering went on.

It was nothing new for Kusum. She had suffered in the hands of Ammaji for a long time. This battle of words between her mom and grandma has been going on for ages. She liked that her mom always supported her, but somewhere within her, she just wanted all these blame games to disappear. A quiet house was all she desired.

After landing a job in an MNC, her issue was resolved to an extent. She spent a lot of time at the office and literally only slept at home. But this nationwide lockdown was proving disastrous for her. Although she understood that this was necessary for curbing the spread of the virus. But the constant fights in the house was making it difficult for her to work. It was tough to attend online meetings. She didn’t want her office colleagues to know the condition in her house. Moreover, it was impossible to concentrate at work.

She put on her headphones and was relieved to see that the meeting was postponed to the next day. Kusum thanked God and put on some music to relax her mind.

She took the laptop from the table and sat on her small yet cozy couch near the window. After working for some time, her tired eyes drifted towards the outside world visible from the window.

The blue sky was speckled with white clouds. A flock of white migratory birds flew away. It was a hot day but the cool light breeze caressed her face and a wisp of her unruly tied hair flew.

She spotted a paper kite. It was flying idly in the breeze. Nobody was actually flying it. It was tied to a window with a short thread and was fluttering in the wind. It was a faded yellow color. Kusum looked intently. Something was scribbled on it.

“Say hello and I will smile!”

She found it funny and a laugh escaped her mouth.

“This lockdown has made people go crazy”, she thought.

Her work was almost over. There was no point in going out of the room to witness any more fights, so she thought she would stay in her room and play along. This window was of an apartment in the adjoining building. She couldn’t see anybody. The thick curtains were down.

Kusum definitely didn’t have a kite. So, she took a paper and a black sharpie and wrote,

” Hello”

Then she stuck it with a cloth hanging clip to one of the rods of the window. She didn’t know when she dozed off.

There was a knock on the door followed by a call by her mom for lunch. She woke up and left to eat.

**************

Kusum was back to her room in no time. All she did was to sit in the corner of the dining table, stuff her mouth with the rice, daal and veggies as fast as she could, wash her hands and escape. Ammaji didn’t notice her as she was busy watching Mahabharat or Ramayan or something that was playing on TV.

Her phone chimed and a message flashed on screen.

” Wassup babe?”

It was Shalini, Kusum’s childhood friend.

Kusum typed with lethargic fingers.

” Daadi was brutal today. She cursed I won’t get married ever”

” I can write a story on that by now and name it ‘Kusum’s Daadi’s brawls’…”

Kusum laughed.

” Don’t you have anything else to talk about?”

” No Shalini… My life is that boring…grandma is the most happening part in it”

“Spruce up your life ok? Do something interesting.. Just wanted to say hi before taking my afternoon nap… Talk to you later… Bye!”

Shalini logged off.

“As if changing life is so easy…”, she muttered to herself and looked out of the window.

Her eyes lit up at once.

“Wait, what is that!”

The yellow kite was as usual fluttering in the wind. The difference was that now it had a big smiley face on it. It was drawn on the other side.

At the bottom it was scribbled,

” Smile more, it costs nothing!”

” Your turn”

Kusum smiled and immediately blushed thinking somebody might be watching her. She slid the curtain in a hurry.

Kusum felt euphoric. A surge of emotions flooded her. Her heart beat increased. She had to sit on the couch for a few minutes to calm herself down. At the end of it she felt stupid for behaving like a school girl. That day she didn’t dare remove the curtain.

The next day started as usual with a fight between her mom and grandma followed by a quick and customary lunch and a lot of office work and meetings. Today she worked from her bed. Around afternoon she wanted to take a break. She had work to do but was feeling sleepy. Yesterday’s feeling of awkwardness was wearing off by now. She removed the curtain with caution.

This time it was a red kite. A cup was drawn on it and below it was written

” Half of the problems in the world are solved by a cup of coffee!”

“I’m having mine, what about you!”

Kusum smiled again. She went straight to the kitchen and started making coffee. Usha looked at her in surprise while washing utensils. It was a rare sight to see Kusum in the kitchen. Ammaji eyed her while sitting on the divan.

“And here all say use food judiciously in the time of this pandemic…. when some people are having tea coffee multiple times…”

She taunted.

Strangely, this time it didn’t hurt Kusum. She made the coffee all the while smiling to herself and took it to her room.

She cupped the mug with both of her palms and sipped it while sitting on her couch. Her mind felt as light as a feather.

Next day Kusum waited from morning itself. But she observed that the window is usually closed shut in morning and in the evening.

“Hmm so certain people are free only in the afternoon”, she chuckled.

As expected after lunch she spotted a new kite, a pale green one

” I’m making masks for the needy, are you?”

Kusum thought for a while and then scurried out of her room straight to Ammaji’s cupboard. She dragged the sewing machine out from the bottom shelf. Nothing could miss Ammaji’s eyes.

” What is this girl up to?” She took a break from watching the television and shouted.

” Daadi…I want to borrow your machine for some time”

She rushed to her room with the sewing machine under her arms without waiting for an answer.

“I tell you Usha…this girl is hopeless!”

The fight started.

Kusum took out some old cotton unused clothes of hers and began sewing masks out of them after watching a tutorial online. Then she sent a message in her community WhatsApp group that if anybody needed it, then they could avail it for free. She was surprised to find that many were interested. She kept the masks outside her house at a predefined time and distributed them securely without any contact. For once she kept aside her personal problems and felt proud to contribute a little in this battle against Corona virus.

Every day was a wait, a surprise. Today the blue kite in the window had a strange message,

“Face your enemy”

Kusum didn’t smile this time. She didn’t like it.

“Pointless… “, she muttered.

She spent most of the day doing office work. In the evening, she felt restless. Maybe she was getting addicted to this surge of happiness, the rush of adrenaline and today was an exception.

In the evening, she made up her mind. She got ready, wore her mask and gloves, took a grocery bag and literally marched to the door. Before leaving she asked her mom,

” Mom, you want anything from outside?”

Ammaji was waiting for this moment.

” Look Usha now what she is doing… She is planning to bring the corona to our home… And I know very well elderly are more affected by it… She is planning to kill me!”

Usha glared at Ammaji but this time she was surprised too. Kusum had never set her foot out once in the lockdown. Grocery was done weekly once by Mohan or her.

Yet she handed a list to her which she had prepared earlier.

It took a lot of time and effort for Kusum to stand in queues, maintain distance from others, get the things and then walk back home, all the while practicing safety measures. It was a tough job her parents did. She never quite realized it.

Although she was tired, she was determined to carry out her plan. She had bought some extra carrots. She started grating them one by one. She stir-fried them in ghee and poured milk and sugar over it. After stirring for some time, it was done. The rich orange color made her smile. She garnished it with crushed cashews and cardamom powder. She served it in a bowl and took a deep breath.

“Daadi… For you…”

Ammaji stared at the bowl of carrot halwa as if she had seen ghosts in a bowl.

“Err… Me?”

“Yes Daadi …I made it especially for you the way you like it… With desi ghee, crushed cashews…”

It took a spoonful of halwa to close Ammaji’s gaping mouth. Mohan and Usha were staring at Kusum. For once she seemed more interesting than the saas bahu serial running on TV.

” You both can also have it… There is more in the kitchen”, she smiled and went back to her room with a bowl of halwa, straight to the window. Her parents nodded with a slight smile on their lips.

A drop of tear fell from her eye. She didn’t know if she conquered her enemy by making a space for herself in her Daadi’s heart, but nonetheless she felt good.

These window games lasted a few more days. Kusum was enjoying it thoroughly. Ammaji was less venomous after the carrot halwa episode. Kusum started spending a little more time outside her room in the dining hall. Overall things were pretty good, like Kusum had never expected it would be in her house.

Now it was the time to tell about all these to someone.

” Hi Shalini! Long time no see”, She pinged her best friend.

” Here she comes… It’s you who has vanished… Not me…”, Shalini sent this with a rolling eyes emoji.

” I was busy…”

“With what?… More grandma brawls?”

” No something very different”, Kusum blushed.

Shalini couldn’t see her since they were just texting but she didn’t miss her tone. After all she was her childhood friend

“Come on… Blurt it out!”, Shalini called her directly out of excitement.

Kusum narrated her story of the past week.

Shalini was stunned.

“Are you crazy?”

“Why…. what’s wrong?”, Kusum asked sheepishly.

“Everything is wrong!”

” Do you realize that you are going on doing random things told… sorry ‘written’ by a stranger on a kite!.…you are talking as if that person is your dear friend… But the fact is that you don’t even know if that person is a male or a female…You are basically talking to a window!”

” My God what childish behavior!”

” Moreover, you don’t know how many people are seeing that window and getting crazy like you. Hundreds of people live in your apartment who have a direct view of that window and things written on it. You cannot be the only one….”

” On second thought, maybe you are the only one…nobody is that mad ”

Kusum was quiet.

” Now behave like a mature person and contact this ‘task giver human being’ of yours”

” Oh my god… Is it even a human being or not I have doubts”, Shalini spoke in an eerie tone

At this point Kusum snapped.

” Too much Shalini… Not fair!”

She hung the phone.

After some time, when her anger towards Shalini dispersed, she realized that Shalini was right. Kusum had got addicted to living in this fantasy world of hers. She didn’t want to come out of it. She feared that truth might not be as beautiful as this feeling she was having these days. It might spoil everything. But yes, this could not go on. She had to do something.

Next day afternoon she wrote a placard and hung it outside the window.

” This is my number 9845743225, call me”

Then she waited with bated breath looking at her phone every other minute.

There was no response…. the whole day.

Kusum was nervous. She wondered if what she did was wrong. But she had no other go. Going to another apartment in wild goose chase was not proper in this lockdown.

Her nervousness was replaced with immense sadness when the next day there was no kite hanging from the window. It was shut.

Next day she was confident that by giving her number, she had somehow offended the other person. The window remained shut.

She had no appetite. Sleep was meagre. Work didn’t interest her but she forced herself to do it. She found herself staring at the closed window multiple times in the day.

Kusum got really anxious. Then she decided that there was no other way. She got ready with her mask and gloves and came out of the house without informing anybody. It was good nobody noticed her leaving the house. All were engrossed in watching some mythological series.

She headed towards the front apartment. There was nobody around except the security guards. As she was going to press the lift button of the apartment, one guard who was stationed there, stopped her.

” Ma’am which floor? Do you live here?”

” No. I want to meet someone in the 13th floor”

She feared the guard would ask the name of the person of which she had no clue”

But he told her something she didn’t expect.

” Few days back I would have asked you to avoid going to that floor. But today you may go.”

Kusum was curious.

” Why? What happened there?”

” The corner house facing the next apartment was quarantined. Kite Uncle was staying there all alone. It was a pity”

“Kite Uncle?”

The guard gave a smile flashing his unruly teeth.

” I call him that… He had a strange hobby… Of making kites…I delivered him color paper, pencil, scissors etc. along with bread, milk, fruits and vegetables when he needed them”

” He went abroad to meet his son’s family. Then all this corona thing happened. So he decided to stay quarantined in this apartment alone instead of going back to his family in the village. He didn’t want to risk their lives. ”

” But you can imagine how tough it was for him to stay all alone. An old man of seventy”

Kusum looked bewildered.

” Seventy!”

“Of course! A very good man. He would call me in the apartment office phone to get things for him. I took pity in him and helped him. But he was very careful and maintained distance from me so that I’m safe. A very amiable person”

“But then one day an ambulance arrived and he was admitted to the hospital. It seems he called them as he felt sick”

“Then?”, Kusum asked.

“Then I don’t know. It was three days back. There is no news about him. I pray for him every day. ”

The guard went on repeating the same thing in different words. Kusum didn’t wait to hear more. It was too much information for her to handle. That too, totally unexpected information. She started walking back although her legs were trembling and she was sweating profusely.”

Back home she directly went to take a bath. Her head felt dizzy. She poured cold water on it to cool it off. Rest of the day she lay on bed staring at the ceiling. Tears rolled from her eyes and soaked the pillow. She didn’t quite know why she was crying. She felt overwhelmed.

Finally, the fog lifted from her head. Things started making sense. In her subconscious mind she had always thought the mystery person behind the window to be a young man who wanted to start a conversation with her or maybe more. As Shalini had said, she was fantasizing in her own dream world. It was all in her head. Whereas the fact was that the man behind the window was creative and friendly. He was sick and maybe too lonely.

Nevertheless, he had changed her world in more ways than one. He had made her fight her own demons. She felt chills in her body thinking about his condition. Maybe he had actually contracted the virus. Was he able to fight against it? She might never be able to know. Only thing she could do was wait.

So Kusum waited. It became a ritual with her to watch the window now and then. But it remained shut. She drowned herself in work. Rest of the time she helped her mom in the kitchen. Now and then she did something special for Ammaji. Most of the time Ammaji ignored her but the frequency of her curses became less. She spent time with her family and talked to Shalini. She made more masks and gloves and donated.

But the window remained shut.

Until one fine day, when Kusum looked at it as a customary habit, her eyes filled up with tears. Her legs trembled again and she held the rod of her window for support and cried. She cried and cried.

There hung the same old pale-yellow kite with the same old message,

“Say hello and I will smile!”

But there was a difference. Below it was scribbled an extra word.

“Again!”

**************