New mom in town

“I am a mom now”.

This simple sentence of just five words changes everything. It would sound funny when I say I prepared well for being a mother, just like I would prepare for an exam. I took all trainings, read books, online articles, listened to podcasts, paid attention to all advices from family and friends. In short I did everything needed to be done to gear up myself to be a mother. But when the moment came, I realized I knew nothing! You don’t know anything until it happens.

The emotions that overflow when you hold your baby in your arms for the first time can’t be described in words. Here, I will just try to recount the little ways in which things went topsy turvy after the arrival of Her highness!

My life magically changed overnight as if a fairy moved her wand. It was such a profound change that I was amazed. I will try to explain giving a nice but stinky example. I liked watching reviews about lipstick and nail polish shades online. When my friends asked about a shade, I would explain,

“It is a bright crimson with a pink undertone and a hint of gold shimmer to it.”

After having a baby, I underwent a minor change. From nail polish shades, I found myself watching reviews about baby poop color!

The doctor had asked to watch her poop carefully since it was an indication of her health and I complied like an obedient student. So when she pooped green, I went all green in my head! I did everything from panicking, calling the doctor office, watching and reading what the internet had to say. I almost stuffed my nose and eyes into her diapers to observe the poop color. Finally my exact explanation to the doctor went as below,

“It looked like cottage cheese with a little dash of mustard sauce and abundant of mashed spinach”.

Eventually after a lot of chaos, I was relieved to know that it was normal ‘poopy’ behavior of babies.

Now before you puke and close this article, I will move the topic to things much pleasant. How lovely is the sight of a tiny baby sleeping peacefully with its eyes shut close and a little gap between those adorable lips, lost in it’s own dream world? I know, it’s a bliss!

This beautiful picture that I painted so easily on paper is a herculean task to achieve in real. Babies don’t fall asleep easily, well most of them. After we cajole them to sleep by singing, rocking, feeding and various other tricks, struggling for almost 30 minutes, they wake up in 10 minutes! So a good night’s sleep remains a dream for moms which they don’t even get a chance to dream literally!

One doesn’t realize the beauty of an uninterrupted calming sleep unless you are having insomnia or a mothermania. No I’m not talking about the music band ‘mothermania’. I have my own definition of it. This sleeplessness becomes a mania over the time. Even if the baby doesn’t wake up, we hear them cry and wake up with a start and wonder why is she not waking up! I don’t know if this happens to other moms or not, but I am a true mothermaniac. Even just now while writing, I thought I heard my baby cry and went to check if she has woken up, only to find Her highness fast asleep!

I have often wondered why babies can’t sleep easily. When I asked this question to the doctor, friends and of course Google, they either explained the science behind it or simply laughed it off stating that its a very normal behavior, nothing to fret about it. But none convinced me.

Truth revealed itself one fine gloomy, sleepy and silent night when the clock struck 3 am. Her highness woke up for a diaper change. I was busy changing her diaper with half open eyes and a grim face when suddenly I noticed she was smiling at me! It was her first smile. It was unbelievably heartwarming. I got the answer to my question at that very instant. God puts so much effort in making such adorable babies for us. Those nine months are nothing less than a miracle taking place. But he leaves certain small tasks for the new caretakers of the baby, us moms and dads. We also need to put some efforts. Don’t we?

Next it was time to dive into another new territory, start of solid food. As usual I was brimming with all the information I could get. This time I started strong. Planned a food chart, found healthy recipes and kept in mind all the do’s and don’ts. But very soon the initial excitement of “Oh my little baby is eating!” changed to “Oh my God why doesn’t she eat!” Her highness rejected many of my recipes in a jiffy by pursing her lips tightly or by simply waving off my spoon with her minuscule fingers. She gave the reaction of eating bitter gourd paste to my super concoctions.

To top it all, after struggling the whole day trying to feed her, I got some remarkable but unasked reviews from the people around me.

“Don’t you feed your baby properly? She looks so thin!”

The optimistic me started seeing the whole situation in a new light soon. I devised a theory. My baby gives me the chance of feeling happy three times a day. I am overjoyed if she completes the bowl of food. I feel happy and consider my efforts a success. I am at the top of the world! So tell me. Before you had a baby, how many times in a day did you feel happy? Well the answer from me is, none for days on.

When people say life changes after being a mom, they are right. It changes in multiple way.

Our emotions are fully controlled by the baby. It’s not like Her highness is sitting with a stick in her teeny tiny hands making me laugh and cry but its not very different either. I have another incident to prove this.

Once she passed wind like a trumpet all through the night. It’s tough for small babies to pass gas. So she kept on crying and I went on blaming myself for losing control and gorging the chicken biryani in lunch. The biryani made my taste buds super happy but the biryani induced breast milk created havoc in her delicate stomach. My happiness turned to regret.

On the other hand, once on our monthly visit to the paediatrician, I had a very bad headache due to sleeplessness and was feeling very low. After checking up my baby the doctor praised me, “Your baby looks good! Well done mommy!” I beamed with joy as if he rewarded me the ‘Mom of the month’ title. I felt better than never before.

Babies are demanding. They need your attention all the time and you will be on duty 24/7. The whole day passes at the blink of an eye. Many times I would forget even the date. I desperately needed a little break which even I didn’t realize. One evening I pushed myself out of the house on my husband’s repeated insistence. I went for a walk, alone. Apart from thinking about my baby at the back of my mind, I discovered few ‘astonishing’ things around me. I almost said out loud.

“The grass is so green! “

“The sky is so blue!”

“The breeze feels wonderful!”

I began to appreciate things which I had taken for granted. Who watches the color of sky or grass in this fast paced world? Earlier I would pass my free time looking at my handheld idiot box or binge watch series on television. After I had my baby, I tried de stressing myself doing these again in my free time. But I found that the ‘green grass’ worked better at calming me. Even sitting with a cup of tea in my balcony looking at the horizon worked wonders.

Once my sister called and asked me, “What are you doing today?”

After I described my whole routine of handling Her highness she chuckled,

“Oh so you were playing ‘doll doll’ all day!”

Motherhood is a complicated yet the most natural phase in every woman’s life. This new mom in town is experiencing a little bit of both every day, every moment. My salute to all the moms out there! Good luck playing ‘doll doll’!